he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
