Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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