What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
