I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize