seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Congratulations! We have a period
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