porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
