Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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