I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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