"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
