You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
