I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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