I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
