you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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