Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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