You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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