after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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