his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
