Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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