Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
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