cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
