Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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