Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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