alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
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