she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize