is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
