I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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