it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
