Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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