Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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