I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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