She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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