You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
