I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
You may now shotgun with the bride
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
