apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
