Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
