JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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