Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
the condom got lost in my hair
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
