My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
