We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
