There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
