I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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