i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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