My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
