I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
