How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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