my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
