Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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