Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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