Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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