I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
My breasts were aching with rage.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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