Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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