I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
