hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
