I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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