I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
