what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
