Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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