please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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