I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
