why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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