Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
