You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
