I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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