I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
