I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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